Click, click, click, click....The anxiety and panic begins to build inside my belly. I look around at all of the smiles and bright eyes and wonder if anyone else is feeling the way I do inside. After checking my shoulder restraints and seatbelt for the umpteenth time, I sit back and close my eyes. My grip is now so tight I'm sure my fingers would sooner rip from my body then loosen from this lap bar. Why did I get on this roller coaster? Why is that darn click so loud? Is that screw loose? How many people have actually fallen off of a coaster? Click...click...click...I say a prayer to quiet my mind as the clicks begin to slow, signaling the pending doom that is sure to follow the end of our climb.
Life is a carnival of rides, isn't it? It's full of thrilling, action packed rides that exhilarate all of our senses. If you like to move slower and safer, there are plenty of rides for you too. And most of the time, we get to choose what ride we get on. But it's not always as fun as it looks when you're in line. Sometimes you find yourself stuck on the race track, circling faster and faster, desperately trying to find an exit. But no matter how fast you drive, you will only end up at the same place you started. You have to figure out how to stop that car, and walk away. Sometimes you realize that the Merry Go Round is only good for about 4 turns. At about the 5th time around you start to get really dizzy, and you realize that the music is getting creepier the more dizzy you get. And now your at the mercy of a strange man in a hat who refuses to push that magical button even though you've made eye contact with him, willing him to stop this horse from jumping one more time. My favorite ride is one that I rarely get to ride, the skyline ride. In the skyline ride you just get to float over life. You get a chance to look back and see all the rides you've already been on. You get to look ahead and get a better view of some rides that you thought you really, really wanted to get on, but now realize that they are just not for you. And occasionally, you get a fantastic view of what's beyond the carnival.
I've been on life's roller coaster. (And I'm pretty sure it's a wooden one, because my neck hurts!) All week I've been climbing that hill. My tummy is in knots, my emotions and anxieties have launched out of control, and I've got the grip of death on my sanity. I am inexplicably terrified of rolling down that hill and into the corkscrews and upside down loopity loops! I find myself pleading with God for clarity. Why in the heck do I keep getting on this thing?
That's when I reach the top and He hits me.
"Don't be afraid for I am with you, don't be discouraged , for I am your God,I will strengthen you and help you, I will hold you up with my victorious right hand" - Isaiah 41:10
Why am I afraid? I have a foolproof safety restraint! Life can twist me, turn me, drop me, and jerk me. But life CANNOT throw me! I am protected. So, friends, this is me letting go. I am opening my eyes. I am reaching my hands to the sky. And I am ready for the drop, whenever it may come. Because I know that God will bring me safely back the the station. He will hold me tight until my car has come to a complete stop. And I will undoubtedly ride this ride again. Because this unpredictably exciting and scary life, is a great ride.
Be Blessed!
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Don't hold back! I never do.