Welcome Home!

Well, the first mortgage check has been written and cashed so I feel it is time to publicly announce that the Ferguson family has officially been relocated! In an incredibly odd turn of events, God has placed us in our new home, which just happens to my old home. How cool is that? My children will grow up in the same house that I made some of the best memories in. I can barely even say that sentence without tears welling in my eyes. That is just so incredible to me. My son will play in the same dirt that kept us entertained for hours. My girls will learn to swim in the same pool that I celebrated my 8^th grade graduation (a great memory for me, a not so great one for the parents). Hopefully one of them will get married in this house, where their father and I were married. Maybe one of them will sneak out of the same windows that I did in order to run away from the oppression of such evil parents who really don’t understand her…which reminds me, anyone know where I can get a good price on prison bars for basement windows?

I just want to say thanks to God for blessing us with such an amazing home and opportunity. I have been so humbled these past few months as God has brought us to the end of trial after trial. Every time I would think of how much I longed to have a house that we could call our own, I felt like the road to our driveway got longer and longer. But God always gently whispered to me that He knew where the road ended. I never in a million years imagined it being here, but I couldn’t be happier at His hand in our dreams.

As we get settled in, it gets easier and easier to let go of that tiny voice that keeps trying to convince me that at any moment I am going to be ripped out of this dream. I know that we are where we are supposed to be. I feel it in my bones. And even though I keep referring to our bedroom as “mom’s room” and to the family room as “dad’s theater”, I know that this is our home, and cannot wait to continue making memories and home videos on this piece of property! 

Today I am Thankful for...

  With smells of Thanksgiving brewing in the air, I've decided to follow suit and write about one thing that I am thankful for every day until I can fill my belly to the brim with turkey and stuffing! I know, I'm eight days late to the party, but let's face it, I'm going to be late to my own funeral. So better late than never, right?
 
  I wanted to start today with my husband, or maybe my children, but God inspired me in another way so I will get to them later. Today I am thankful for the deep appreciation of nature that God has blessed me with. Sounds strange, I know. How can you be thankful that you are thankful for something? When you look up the word appreciate in the dictionary, the first definition is "to be thankful or grateful". And I am. I am thankful for the trees and the nice days, like today. But the second definition is what brought on today's subject. "To be fully conscious of; be aware of; detect". Fully conscious of...now that is exactly the words I would use to describe the feeling that stirs inside of me when I stand in God's creations!

  My mom used to tell me about a grandmother she had. Mom said they would be driving along, running whatever errands they had that day, when she would suddenly pull over and yell "Look at that tree! How gorgeous is that tree kids?!" I always think of that story when I drive down the highway and see the multicolored trees glowing in the sun. I want so badly to just pull my car over and stare at them! And I will say the same thing, "Look at that tree!" And my husband always thinks I'm nuts and appeases me by saying "Yes dear, it's beautiful". But it's more than beautiful to me. I don't know how to explain other than to say I am fully conscious of it's beauty. So conscious in fact, that it not only brightens my mood but it makes me feel so in touch with our Creator. He put that tree there. He gave it seasons. And He did it for our utter enjoyment! Don't you think He could've just made one type of never changing tree to provide us the oxygen we need to live? Or worse, He could've bypassed trees all together and just gave us boring old oxygen.

  I know that all of you appreciate a gorgeous day. Today is a great example. It's warm with a fresh breeze, the trees are radiant shades of orange and red. Blue skies stretch beyond the horizon with not one cloud to hide the warmth of the sun. But how many of you have ever sat and appreciated the rain? When it rains at the Ferguson house, you can usually find us in the living room, all the lights out, sitting in front of the window waiting for the crack of the lightening. As soon as the lightening strikes, Cailynne's face will beam as she tells us "here comes the thunder!" I love rainstorms! I am fully conscious of how amazingly ominous and glorious thunder is. Sure it's inconvenient when the electricity goes out, and my backyard is a swamp, but I'm always too overwhelmed with appreciation that God made rainstorms so powerful. He could've watered the Earth anyway He wanted, but He chose to give us rainstorms, and thunder.

  So as weird as it may seem, that is what I choose to be thankful for today. I am so blessed that God gave us His creations, and put a desire in my heart to see the love He has pouring out through a rainstorm, or even a snowstorm. I love the joy I get everytime I go to my backyard and see my tree. Whether it's blossoming pink flowers, shimmering in a thick coat of ice, or just providing shade for my children. I am thankful that I am fully conscious of all of its seasons. I am thankful that I truely appreciate all of God's works, even the ones that are not warm and fuzzy.

In Heaven, there will be a garden.

As a child I would lay awake, envisioning what Heaven would be like. In my Heaven, there were huge mansions lining the golden streets. Angels with great wings and halos sat on every corner and played a harp. I would picture God, sitting on his throne while all of us bowed on our knees, worshiping Him. And when he spoke, music played in the distance. There was always a magical sunset in the distance, displaying every color imaginable, and some not. I would cuddle my pet lion every night as I drifted off to sleep. And in the morning I would make my way to the great buffet table of endless Lima beans. (What? Apparently I like Lima beans....a lot!)
When I became a mother, my vision changed a bit. There were still mansions and harp playing angels. God still sat on His throne. But I had begun to appreciate the smaller things in life. I looked at my sweet baby and thought, Heaven just wouldn't be complete without precious sleeping babies everywhere. I decided I would have a sleeping baby to cuddle with me and my lion. I also had begun to realize God's love for His children. As I gazed at my sleeping baby boy, the thought of any harm or pain coming to him was completely unbearable. I worried about his future and planned the demise of all who would come against him. I couldn't wait to watch him grow (slowly) into a young man and begin his journey in life. Now I could see God, in his throne, but not just basking in worship. He was worried. He was in love with a child that was destined to hurt Him, yet He still loved with His whole heart. He still sacrificed and cried for His children. I saw His face changing as He watched His children grow...slowly.
Yesterday I poured my usual morning coffee. I went to my garden to sit and watch it grow. Picking and pruning my way through, I gathered my bounty in a pile. Each red tomato made me grin. Every delicious cucumber made me happy to my core. And a sudden and new vision came into my head. God is not just sitting on a throne in the sky. He's not just watching the lives of His children. I see him in his gardening shoes, coffee in hand, planting seeds in his awesome garden! With sweat and blood, He works for us. With fertilizer and a rake, He readies the ground for the seed to be planted. No matter how hard the work, or how hot the sun, I know my God is up there, planting His seeds with such joy and anticipation of that delicious fruit that they will soon bear. I can feel His disappointment when He sees a big ripe red tomato, but upon furthur inspection finds it rotten on the bottom, and has to throw it to the side.
I'm excited at this new idea of Heaven! I can't wait to get up at first morning light, grab my coffee, and meet my God in the garden to help him sow seeds, and cast out the weeds that are choking His plants. Heck, maybe we'll even grow some Lima beans.

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God." Colossians 1:10

What an artist my God is!!

Sitting on the plane filled with anticipation for my very first getaway vacation, I could barely contain my legs from bouncing and twitching. It was such a dreary day I closed the window shade and turned on my book lamp. Trying to read when I was that excited was a hard as trying to contain a child in a stroller at the fair.
Putting the book down, I opened my shade. There were no rain filled dark clouds. We had cleared the ominous skies that I had seen just moments ago, hovering over the airport. My heart was filled with peace as I gazed into the bright white clouds that looked like giant puffs of love. Now, anyone that knows me, knows that I have this incredible obsession with the sky. I can't explain it, but when I look into a sunset or see a cloud that overwhelms me, I can't look away. I feel suddenly that God put that there just for me, to show me how great He is. But this feeling was different.
It was as if I was looking directly into God's heart. I started imagining God, sitting in Heaven staring at this great canvas. When an artist sits before his canvas with his tools in his hand, his inspiration comes from inside. He may have an idea that stemmed from something he saw, but his interpretation of that idea is what comes bursting from his heart, onto that canvas, almost as if he could no longer keep it to himself. He must share this emotion by way of painting, or sculpting, or whatever his craft may be.
Now I'm just picturing God in Heaven, bursting with Love for us. I can see him in his painters smock painting happy little trees, right over here. Making smoosh sounds with each brush stroke as he decides which way the water should flow, and setting clouds free. Yes, apparently in my vision God talks like Bob Ross.
But what a great thought! How awesome is our God that this Earth is what came pouring out of His heart as he created! It started with an ocean that bursted out of his love and went on forever. You stand on the shore and see no end. Then it His glory bursted into the skies. Magnificent and ever watching, I have always said that if you listen closely, you can hear music in the sunset. Then a rainbow of flowers and trees, all displaying the purest of beauty and perfect smells. The great mountain came rolling out and stood to protect us and promised to give shelter from our enemies. What a heart has our God!
So next time you stand along the shores of that vast ocean, when you linger in the valley of that great mountain, and when you fly above the beauty of those awesome clouds, remember that they are not an accident. They are not a coincidence. Nor are they the boastings of a God that says "look what I can do." They are his heart. It is what is bursting inside of Him. Stop and revel in his magnificence and wonder. And understand how great an artist my God is.

Joy of Love: Day 18 "Staying In"

I will admit that my opinion of little girls has always been along the same line as Miss Hannigan's. When I pictured my family, I always pictured a house full of rough and tough little boys with wild hair and mud on their face. I was scared of girls for multiple reasons, first being that I myself was one so I know fully what they are capable of! When God blessed me with my first girl, I thought okay. I knew this was coming. My mom always prayed that He would give me a child that was just like me. (I'd like to go ahead and take this time to say  something to my mother. I'm sorry mom. Would you please take back that prayer now? No point in both of us suffering, right?) Then when we were told that another precious girl was on the way, I almost fainted. Crap. Now it's double time!
As my girls have grown, I have totally changed my opinions. Granted, give it about 13 years and I'm sure I'll be right back in line with Miss H. But I have so much fun with these angels. Just dressing them up in frillies and bows is the height of a long day. I can't tell you how excited I was when I realized I was going to get to play with Barbies again. As much as I love the days we get to go outside and get dirty, I love the snow days that keep us inside having tea parties and "folding" laundry together.
Thank you Lord for showing me this side of the girls first. Now when they are 13-25 and I am wandering around the house cross-eyed and talking to myself, I can look back on these times and remember that they are precious. They are precious. They are PRECIOUS!

Joy of Love: Day 17 "Going out"

I love this day. It's the first day after such a long, cold winter that the kids can finally go out and play with no coats, no gloves, even no shoes. It's the day that makes you forget that there is still plenty of cold days left to come. It's the day that when you crawl into bed underneath the open window to take a family nap, you never want to fall asleep for fear you may miss just one wisp of that fresh air whistling through the screen. It's a beautiful day!
I had such a blast watching the kids explore the backyard today. I chased them and pushed them all around. We drew with chalk and blew bubbles until they at last discovered the giant mud puddle. Boy is great to watch kids play in a mud puddle! I grabbed my camera and as I was snapping pictures of their mischievous faces, I had a moment.
It's so easy as a stay at home mother to turn parenting into a "job". You get caught in a routine and before you know it, the day is gone. You can't remember if you told your children you loved them enough times, or read them enough books, or even gave them enough kisses. It all becomes about a schedule and did the dishes get done? How much laundry is left for the next day? How much wine is left for the after bedtime bath? Is the alarm set for the morning?
Then God stops you. He gives you a day. A day that suddenly the laundry and dishes can wait. A day that you actually consider taking a nap in the first place. He gives you this day. As I captured each grin, God was telling me "Take this day. There will be plenty of time for work. This is the time for them." Being a parent is a job, no doubt. But there are times that it doesn't have to be work. There are days that you need to step back, and remember to have fun with your kids, not just play with them. Laugh with them. Enjoy them. Because the laundry isn't going anywhere without you. Just stop, and love this day!

Joy of Love: Day 16 "Their Kiss"

When you think of a kiss, what comes to your mind first? The end of a movie? Or maybe the beginning of a marriage? There are ultimately hundreds of feelings associated with even the smallest of smooches. It is, in my opinion, one of the most powerful tools God has given us to communicate with one another. Used for good as well as evil, a kiss can change the entire course of your day, or even your life.
The very first thing I think of in a kiss is the incredible healing power. Just one tiny little kiss can heal anything from the most unfortunate of boo-boos to the most broken of hearts. I can think of many circumstances where I was just down and out, where I just wanted to crawl back in bed and try again tomorrow. My husband noticed that I was not myself, and swooped me into his arms and gave me that special kiss. Suddenly, I can see a brighter day. I especially love when that healing comes innocently. When my child, who has no idea that her mommy has trouble in her heart, gives me that kiss that comes from her whole body. That's when you realize that in all that you've done wrong as a parent, you must've done something right!
A kiss is so powerful that even in its absence, it can affect your mood. Of course, every mother knows that moment when your child is "too cool for school" and refuses to kiss you goodbye in front of their friends. Why don't they just take out a knife and stab you straight in your heart, am I right? The lack of affection by way of kiss from someone you love can hurt you even subconsciously. I've noticed times where I am just irritated with my husband for no logical reason. Once I realize that we haven't had one good kiss since he got home, I can put two and two together and easily remedy that situation. Or how about that overwhelming first kiss, as it hangs in the air of a date just waiting to be given, or received. The anticipation fuels the butterflies in your tummy to flutter and dive as you just think of what it will be like.
Of course there is always a dark side to every power. A kiss can betray us. One of the most famous betrayals came with a kiss of death on the Jesus's cheek. An unloyal kiss can rot a holy union, and destroy families. A forced kiss can unleash a beast inside one, and at the same time take away another's self worth. It's sad how the devil can take such a precious gift from God, and turn it onto a tool of destruction.
Always remember to cherish your kisses. Keep them close to your heart. When you see your loved one hurting, kiss them all better. Take full advantage of your ability to smooch up all of your children, because that dreaded day will come and then you will have to wait until they get married to do it again! Keep your kisses pure, don't let the devil take this gift from you. God has given his children so many wonderful tools to help us grow in our relationships. The kiss is a magical one!