In Heaven, there will be a garden.

As a child I would lay awake, envisioning what Heaven would be like. In my Heaven, there were huge mansions lining the golden streets. Angels with great wings and halos sat on every corner and played a harp. I would picture God, sitting on his throne while all of us bowed on our knees, worshiping Him. And when he spoke, music played in the distance. There was always a magical sunset in the distance, displaying every color imaginable, and some not. I would cuddle my pet lion every night as I drifted off to sleep. And in the morning I would make my way to the great buffet table of endless Lima beans. (What? Apparently I like Lima beans....a lot!)
When I became a mother, my vision changed a bit. There were still mansions and harp playing angels. God still sat on His throne. But I had begun to appreciate the smaller things in life. I looked at my sweet baby and thought, Heaven just wouldn't be complete without precious sleeping babies everywhere. I decided I would have a sleeping baby to cuddle with me and my lion. I also had begun to realize God's love for His children. As I gazed at my sleeping baby boy, the thought of any harm or pain coming to him was completely unbearable. I worried about his future and planned the demise of all who would come against him. I couldn't wait to watch him grow (slowly) into a young man and begin his journey in life. Now I could see God, in his throne, but not just basking in worship. He was worried. He was in love with a child that was destined to hurt Him, yet He still loved with His whole heart. He still sacrificed and cried for His children. I saw His face changing as He watched His children grow...slowly.
Yesterday I poured my usual morning coffee. I went to my garden to sit and watch it grow. Picking and pruning my way through, I gathered my bounty in a pile. Each red tomato made me grin. Every delicious cucumber made me happy to my core. And a sudden and new vision came into my head. God is not just sitting on a throne in the sky. He's not just watching the lives of His children. I see him in his gardening shoes, coffee in hand, planting seeds in his awesome garden! With sweat and blood, He works for us. With fertilizer and a rake, He readies the ground for the seed to be planted. No matter how hard the work, or how hot the sun, I know my God is up there, planting His seeds with such joy and anticipation of that delicious fruit that they will soon bear. I can feel His disappointment when He sees a big ripe red tomato, but upon furthur inspection finds it rotten on the bottom, and has to throw it to the side.
I'm excited at this new idea of Heaven! I can't wait to get up at first morning light, grab my coffee, and meet my God in the garden to help him sow seeds, and cast out the weeds that are choking His plants. Heck, maybe we'll even grow some Lima beans.

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God." Colossians 1:10

What an artist my God is!!

Sitting on the plane filled with anticipation for my very first getaway vacation, I could barely contain my legs from bouncing and twitching. It was such a dreary day I closed the window shade and turned on my book lamp. Trying to read when I was that excited was a hard as trying to contain a child in a stroller at the fair.
Putting the book down, I opened my shade. There were no rain filled dark clouds. We had cleared the ominous skies that I had seen just moments ago, hovering over the airport. My heart was filled with peace as I gazed into the bright white clouds that looked like giant puffs of love. Now, anyone that knows me, knows that I have this incredible obsession with the sky. I can't explain it, but when I look into a sunset or see a cloud that overwhelms me, I can't look away. I feel suddenly that God put that there just for me, to show me how great He is. But this feeling was different.
It was as if I was looking directly into God's heart. I started imagining God, sitting in Heaven staring at this great canvas. When an artist sits before his canvas with his tools in his hand, his inspiration comes from inside. He may have an idea that stemmed from something he saw, but his interpretation of that idea is what comes bursting from his heart, onto that canvas, almost as if he could no longer keep it to himself. He must share this emotion by way of painting, or sculpting, or whatever his craft may be.
Now I'm just picturing God in Heaven, bursting with Love for us. I can see him in his painters smock painting happy little trees, right over here. Making smoosh sounds with each brush stroke as he decides which way the water should flow, and setting clouds free. Yes, apparently in my vision God talks like Bob Ross.
But what a great thought! How awesome is our God that this Earth is what came pouring out of His heart as he created! It started with an ocean that bursted out of his love and went on forever. You stand on the shore and see no end. Then it His glory bursted into the skies. Magnificent and ever watching, I have always said that if you listen closely, you can hear music in the sunset. Then a rainbow of flowers and trees, all displaying the purest of beauty and perfect smells. The great mountain came rolling out and stood to protect us and promised to give shelter from our enemies. What a heart has our God!
So next time you stand along the shores of that vast ocean, when you linger in the valley of that great mountain, and when you fly above the beauty of those awesome clouds, remember that they are not an accident. They are not a coincidence. Nor are they the boastings of a God that says "look what I can do." They are his heart. It is what is bursting inside of Him. Stop and revel in his magnificence and wonder. And understand how great an artist my God is.

Joy of Love: Day 18 "Staying In"

I will admit that my opinion of little girls has always been along the same line as Miss Hannigan's. When I pictured my family, I always pictured a house full of rough and tough little boys with wild hair and mud on their face. I was scared of girls for multiple reasons, first being that I myself was one so I know fully what they are capable of! When God blessed me with my first girl, I thought okay. I knew this was coming. My mom always prayed that He would give me a child that was just like me. (I'd like to go ahead and take this time to say  something to my mother. I'm sorry mom. Would you please take back that prayer now? No point in both of us suffering, right?) Then when we were told that another precious girl was on the way, I almost fainted. Crap. Now it's double time!
As my girls have grown, I have totally changed my opinions. Granted, give it about 13 years and I'm sure I'll be right back in line with Miss H. But I have so much fun with these angels. Just dressing them up in frillies and bows is the height of a long day. I can't tell you how excited I was when I realized I was going to get to play with Barbies again. As much as I love the days we get to go outside and get dirty, I love the snow days that keep us inside having tea parties and "folding" laundry together.
Thank you Lord for showing me this side of the girls first. Now when they are 13-25 and I am wandering around the house cross-eyed and talking to myself, I can look back on these times and remember that they are precious. They are precious. They are PRECIOUS!

Joy of Love: Day 17 "Going out"

I love this day. It's the first day after such a long, cold winter that the kids can finally go out and play with no coats, no gloves, even no shoes. It's the day that makes you forget that there is still plenty of cold days left to come. It's the day that when you crawl into bed underneath the open window to take a family nap, you never want to fall asleep for fear you may miss just one wisp of that fresh air whistling through the screen. It's a beautiful day!
I had such a blast watching the kids explore the backyard today. I chased them and pushed them all around. We drew with chalk and blew bubbles until they at last discovered the giant mud puddle. Boy is great to watch kids play in a mud puddle! I grabbed my camera and as I was snapping pictures of their mischievous faces, I had a moment.
It's so easy as a stay at home mother to turn parenting into a "job". You get caught in a routine and before you know it, the day is gone. You can't remember if you told your children you loved them enough times, or read them enough books, or even gave them enough kisses. It all becomes about a schedule and did the dishes get done? How much laundry is left for the next day? How much wine is left for the after bedtime bath? Is the alarm set for the morning?
Then God stops you. He gives you a day. A day that suddenly the laundry and dishes can wait. A day that you actually consider taking a nap in the first place. He gives you this day. As I captured each grin, God was telling me "Take this day. There will be plenty of time for work. This is the time for them." Being a parent is a job, no doubt. But there are times that it doesn't have to be work. There are days that you need to step back, and remember to have fun with your kids, not just play with them. Laugh with them. Enjoy them. Because the laundry isn't going anywhere without you. Just stop, and love this day!

Joy of Love: Day 16 "Their Kiss"

When you think of a kiss, what comes to your mind first? The end of a movie? Or maybe the beginning of a marriage? There are ultimately hundreds of feelings associated with even the smallest of smooches. It is, in my opinion, one of the most powerful tools God has given us to communicate with one another. Used for good as well as evil, a kiss can change the entire course of your day, or even your life.
The very first thing I think of in a kiss is the incredible healing power. Just one tiny little kiss can heal anything from the most unfortunate of boo-boos to the most broken of hearts. I can think of many circumstances where I was just down and out, where I just wanted to crawl back in bed and try again tomorrow. My husband noticed that I was not myself, and swooped me into his arms and gave me that special kiss. Suddenly, I can see a brighter day. I especially love when that healing comes innocently. When my child, who has no idea that her mommy has trouble in her heart, gives me that kiss that comes from her whole body. That's when you realize that in all that you've done wrong as a parent, you must've done something right!
A kiss is so powerful that even in its absence, it can affect your mood. Of course, every mother knows that moment when your child is "too cool for school" and refuses to kiss you goodbye in front of their friends. Why don't they just take out a knife and stab you straight in your heart, am I right? The lack of affection by way of kiss from someone you love can hurt you even subconsciously. I've noticed times where I am just irritated with my husband for no logical reason. Once I realize that we haven't had one good kiss since he got home, I can put two and two together and easily remedy that situation. Or how about that overwhelming first kiss, as it hangs in the air of a date just waiting to be given, or received. The anticipation fuels the butterflies in your tummy to flutter and dive as you just think of what it will be like.
Of course there is always a dark side to every power. A kiss can betray us. One of the most famous betrayals came with a kiss of death on the Jesus's cheek. An unloyal kiss can rot a holy union, and destroy families. A forced kiss can unleash a beast inside one, and at the same time take away another's self worth. It's sad how the devil can take such a precious gift from God, and turn it onto a tool of destruction.
Always remember to cherish your kisses. Keep them close to your heart. When you see your loved one hurting, kiss them all better. Take full advantage of your ability to smooch up all of your children, because that dreaded day will come and then you will have to wait until they get married to do it again! Keep your kisses pure, don't let the devil take this gift from you. God has given his children so many wonderful tools to help us grow in our relationships. The kiss is a magical one!

Joy of Love: Day 15 "It's just me!"

It's hard to do a self portrait. First there is all of the technical stuff, such as balancing the camera on a mound of paint cans since you don't have a tripod, and focusing on a teddy bear and then chucking said bear to the side in the short five seconds you have before the continuous shooting begins. Next there is that awkward moment where you realize the middle school bus just drove by and gawked at you as you threw out your best "Posh Face". Lastly, you have to try your hardest not to be overly judgemental as you look through the camera's eye at the person everyone else sees when you enter a room.
After several different settings and backrounds, I felt as if I'd gotten as good as I was going to get. I had done all of the senior picture poses that I could think of. But shouldn't my self portrait have some sort of resemblance to my personality? Once upon a time, I would've loved a good shot of me playing peek-a-boo behind a tree. No longer am I that person! I am the kind of person that salsas down the aisle of the Dollar Store. I am the kind of person that not only wears a mullet in my friends basement, but owns that look on the streets as well. I sing along to every song that I hear, even if I don't know the words. So, after multiple crowds had gathered in their lawn chairs to laugh at my shenanigans, I got the perfect shot. The one that just screams Erin Ferguson.

Joy of Love: Day 14 "Wedding Band"

It was my very favorite Christmas. Mike's employer at the time was behind on his pay. We had waited for this check for weeks so begin our shopping, and finally here it was...two days before Christmas! I was so excited to get off work on that Christmas Eve. Mike picked me up and we quickly learned that we were too late for shopping. Even Walmart was already closed! Feeling defeated, we thought to try KMart before calling it quits. We pulled into an overcrowded parking lot and saw that sign still lit up. Christmas was saved!
Almost running, we cheered our way into the store. I had my list and my shopping boots on. Mike had an arsenal of coffee and gum. And we had 3 hours until closing time. Whew! Let the fun begin. We had the most fun we've ever had on a shopping trip together. Laughing until we cried, arguing over gifts and prices, and breathing a huge sigh as each name was checked off the list. As it came to an end we realized there was no money left for each other. No big deal we agreed. Although, Mike did not know that I had sneakily added a cordless drill into the cart with his name on it. I thought it was going to be so much fun to surprise him!
We got "the phone call" at 5 am. My baby sister wanting to know when we coming over to watch them open presents. After a long night of wrapping and sorting, we drug our bodies out of bed and woke up Cody. As Mike was loading the gifts into the car, I grabbed his drill and put it strategically in his way. He sat down on the floor and opened it up. I was so excited I almost ripped the paper for him! I sat down next to him and chattered on about how sly I am and that I just couldn't help myself. When I suddenly realized he had a small box in his hand. Right there, sitting on our floor together, he proposed with the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. I was so surprised! Mostly because I had quit smoking two weeks earlier and was questioning whether or not he would even endure another week with me, let alone the rest of his life.
Well, obviously I said yes and here we are today. I could not imagine how my life would have turned out without this incredible man. I love him to no end and thank God every day for putting him in my path when I least expected it.