Joy of Love: Day 14 "Wedding Band"

It was my very favorite Christmas. Mike's employer at the time was behind on his pay. We had waited for this check for weeks so begin our shopping, and finally here it was...two days before Christmas! I was so excited to get off work on that Christmas Eve. Mike picked me up and we quickly learned that we were too late for shopping. Even Walmart was already closed! Feeling defeated, we thought to try KMart before calling it quits. We pulled into an overcrowded parking lot and saw that sign still lit up. Christmas was saved!
Almost running, we cheered our way into the store. I had my list and my shopping boots on. Mike had an arsenal of coffee and gum. And we had 3 hours until closing time. Whew! Let the fun begin. We had the most fun we've ever had on a shopping trip together. Laughing until we cried, arguing over gifts and prices, and breathing a huge sigh as each name was checked off the list. As it came to an end we realized there was no money left for each other. No big deal we agreed. Although, Mike did not know that I had sneakily added a cordless drill into the cart with his name on it. I thought it was going to be so much fun to surprise him!
We got "the phone call" at 5 am. My baby sister wanting to know when we coming over to watch them open presents. After a long night of wrapping and sorting, we drug our bodies out of bed and woke up Cody. As Mike was loading the gifts into the car, I grabbed his drill and put it strategically in his way. He sat down on the floor and opened it up. I was so excited I almost ripped the paper for him! I sat down next to him and chattered on about how sly I am and that I just couldn't help myself. When I suddenly realized he had a small box in his hand. Right there, sitting on our floor together, he proposed with the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. I was so surprised! Mostly because I had quit smoking two weeks earlier and was questioning whether or not he would even endure another week with me, let alone the rest of his life.
Well, obviously I said yes and here we are today. I could not imagine how my life would have turned out without this incredible man. I love him to no end and thank God every day for putting him in my path when I least expected it.

Joy of Love: Day 13 "Their Routine"

I am incredibly frustrated with these pictures! They did not come out at all as I had hoped. Somehow it seems as if my photography skills are getting worse instead of better. Oi vey! I guess that's what learning is all about though, right?
So Cailynne's favorite part of every day is no doubt her bathtime. Just about every time I change a diaper I have to wrestle her down to the ground while she yells "SHOWER! PWEEEASE!!" My little water baby would take 3 baths a day. I adore watching her in there, playing and laughing at her toys. Not to mention that it gives me a small window of peace. Just knowing that she is not at this moment climbing the baby gate to the stairs or sitting on top of her sister is quite relaxing!
So I was trying to capture her fun, but neither she nor the lighting was cooperating.

Joy of Love: Day 12 "Their Eyes"

The eyes are the window to the soul. Have you ever noticed that even if your best friend is smiling, you can usually tell that something is wrong? Our eyes give us a way! I think it is especially true with children because they wear their emotions on their sleeve as it is. I love when my children are happy and you can just see that joy radiating through their eyes. So for this project I thought it would be fun to share some of the looks I get around the house daily.

"Mom I love you enough to do what you tell me, but inside I am actually quite annoyed."

"You're my best friend"

"I will never understand why you put me through things like this."

"Cupcake...you complete me." 

"I love the noises you made when you put this hat on my head!"

"Now I'm starting to get a little irritated with your loud mouth."

"SEND IN THE GUARDS!!!" 



Joy of Love: Day 11 "Their Dreams"

Every married couple knows what it means to have a pet peave. No matter how much you love your spouse, there is undoubtedly things about them that drive you insane. My marriage is no different. Mike cannot walk into the room without commenting on my choice to watch Food Network for the fourth night in a row or the fact that I have washed every bit of laundry, and here it sits with me on the couch begging to be put away. I cannot stand the fact that as soon as he walks through the door, he ditches his dirty boots right in the middle of the doorway. And don't even get me started on the status of my bathroom sink after he shaves!
But truely, for me the pet peaves are bittersweet. As much as I complain as I wipe up a pile of beard hairs, I know that these things symbolize the fact that Daddy is home. And I love them for that. I can even go so far as to say I miss them when he's gone.
When I asked him today what his dreams in life were, his answer was so unexpectedly simple. I was thinking of places I'd like to go, and people I'd like to see. Maybe there is a lottery win in our future! He, without so much as a moments thought, said "I dream of a job that will keep me home". Sometimes I get so caught up in how hard my life is without him here to help me, I forget how hard it is for him to be out there on the road without us. I couldn't dream a better dream. To know that every night when I roll over, I will find more than an empty pillow. So right now I want to pray for my husband and his future. And I would appreciate if you joined me.
Father God I pray for my husband's dreams. He is an amazing man and an amazing father. He works so hard to give us the best life he can provide at this time. We thank you so much that he has the ability to work, and for the steady job that you have provided him. Lord he wants to be at home with his family, and we want him here. I pray that you would open up a road that would bring him closer and closer to that dream. I believe that your will is for him to be able to be here for his children as they grow older, and not to miss out on their childhood. Lord your will is our guide, and where you lead us, we will go. Above all we want to be in your plan for our future. Amen.

Joy of Love: Day 10 "Where They Are Comfortable"

It was a matter of seconds that my head was turned. During which time Cailynne managed to dump out the dog's water, empty every pot out of the cupboard, and fill them with dog food. "Cailynne! That is a no no!" Laughing maniacally, she runs out of the kitchen and straight to the toilet, at which time I notice she is carrying my cell phone. Tripping over 2 baby dolls and a potty chair in a desperate attempt to save the phone from the drowning it was about to receive, I seriously considered introducing my daughter to the swirly!
I truely believe naptime is more for the mother than the child. Sure, we want to make sure our kids are getting their much needed rest. But our sanity needs the rest as well! I love little Cailynne's sense of adventure. More often than not she has me rolling with laughter at her daily shenanigans and stubborn attitudes. But I cannot hide the smile on my face when naptime comes around either.
For one thing, Cailynne is so excited to get in her crib. She loves it! She has all of her loveys to snuggle with and her favorite blanket. She smiles, kisses everybody goodnight, and waves goodbye as I lay her on her pillow. I don't really even know how this happened. I always say she must be a long sleeper like her Grammy.
The other reason I love naptime so much is that I know when she wakes up, I'm going to get a guaranteed 15 minutes of snuggle time in the rocking chair. I treasure each and every one of those 15 minutes. She kisses me a million times and hugs me with her whole body. It's heaven! And just when God has reminded me how very precious being a mother can be, we hit 16 minutes. And then we're off...right back where we left off....the toilet.

I had super crappy lighting to work with so I had to use my flash.

Joy of Love: Day 9 "Their Passion"

My husband is an incredible artist. In almost every spare moment he gets I can always find him sitting at the table, drawing random things. Admittedly, I am a tad bit jealous. I do not have one artistic bone in my body! Now I can copy like nobody's business. But to just sit and picture something in my head, and then draw it? Not a chance. He can draw, paint, and even tattoo.
I would say his heart is in the tattoo business more than the others. He will spend hours watching videos on the internet that help him to learn more about his craft. I absolutely love to watch him tattoo people and see his portfolio grow with each one. Hopefully someday he will be able to do this for more than just a hobby.
I will tell you right now that my heart was just not in it this time around. It's been just a crazy day! You know, one of those days where you suddenly realize your child is running around with a nail in her ear and your sister is wearing a potty seat for a top hat. You've all had those days right? No? Well I had it in my mind to capture him actually doing a tattoo and that was not an option, so next time he does one I'm going to re-do this assignment.

Joy of Love: Day 8 "What They Have Done"

My son, Cody, is now 7 years old and he is the apple of my eye. He looks just like me, he acts just like me, he even has a touch of OCD, just like me. He has a phenominal sense of humor and keeps all of on our toes, but is still a bit reserved around new people. He has such a tender heart and is a fabulous big brother. I am so proud of him!
For reasons that I will someday later explain, Cody has never met his biological father. And he didn't have a healthy father figure for the beginning of his life. Cody came to me when I was not living the life that God had planned out for me. It was always so hard to explain to him why I made the choices that I did, and there is still so much to explain one day.  He changed my life, but I was never able to give him what he needed from a man. I always worried how that would affect him and who he would become.
When my husband, Mike, came into the picture, Cody was very concerned about this new man in our life. He gave him a hard time, and challenged his authority. But Mike remained patient with him. He told Cody he loved both of us more than anything and would never leave. When we got married he asked Cody to be his best man. One day Mike just started asking a bunch of questions about Cody's paternity. And then told me he wanted to adopt him and give him the same last name as the rest of the family. My heart melted!
He asked Cody how he felt about it, and of course got a big hug of approval. And so began the rest of his life! I am so in love with this man, who would do this for my child. And not out of obligation or as a favor to me. It was in his heart. And because of that, my Codeman has grown miles with his Dad. And I am confidant that Mike will help mold him into the man that God wants him to be.
I would have loved to take a picture of them together, but Mike is out of town. So here's some of the many faces of Cody :)

Joy of Love: Day 7 "Generations"

I am so blessed to be so close to most of my family. We get to have great big holidays and celebrations. It's fabulous. I especially love that my kids get to have a bond with their great grandma! My Grandma Janet is such an amazing woman of God. We share a lot of things in common. We both love the art of cooking and baking. She has clued me in on so many ideas in the kitchen. She has always been there to lend an ear whenever I needed someone to listen, and offer advice. I'm so proud to know her, and love her. Here she is with Evie.

Joy of Love: Day 6 "Who They Love"

My baby sister Leah sleeps, eats, dreams, lives and breathes Evangeline. She loves her so much, there are times that she cries for her. It is to die for! When she comes to my house, she will sit and hold her on her lap and sing softly. She is invoved in every aspect of Evie's day. If there's a diaper changing going on, she's right there, holding the wipes for me. If Evie cries, she runs to her side and wraps her up in a blankie and gives her a baby to "snuggle". I have never seen a child so tender and in love with a baby!
It's amazing to me. I think about what little sweet Leah endured in her first weeks. Unimaginable abuse by the very people who should be protecting her. She was beaten and neglected, to a point that the doctors were sure she could never recover. But recover she did. And not only physically, but emotionally as well. And here she is, dying to comfort and swaddle this baby. How precious that God can take something so horrible, and turn it into something so great.

Joy of Love: Day 5 "What You Love to Hate"

My husband works a job that requires him to travel. His normal schedule involves packing a bag and heading out on Monday and returning on Friday. To be honest, after all of these years, I have never gotten used to Mondays. Every time he leaves, a tiny bit of depression sets in on my mood. And every Friday is a big day for me. The anticipation of his return makes me wake up early and smiling. I schedule my whole day around his arrival, making sure I am home when he walks through the door. And then I hear the truck pull up, and he opens the door. With arms open we run to each other, almost laughing with joy. We meet and he reaches down and scoops up....the dog!
Okay, okay. I may have exaggerated that scenario just a bit. He always does hug me first. But I will admit that I am a little jealous of the affection that is poured into his baby puppy. She's an Olde English Bulldog pup, the dog of his dreams. With a face that ugly, you have to think she's cute. So when I read this homework I knew exactly what I "loved to hate" about my husband. Admittedly, I have fallen for her too.

Joy of Love: Day 4 "What They Wear"

I had the absolute pleasure of taking my cousing shopping for the upcoming winter dance this evening. We giggled our way through a million dresses until we found just the right one for each girl. We turned the aisle into our very own runway to allow them to strut their stuff in heels that deserve more than just a second glance. And we finished by modeling every piece of jewelry until we fell in love with the ring that made the outfit. I learned two lessons throughout this journey.
One: I am so excited to take my daughters shopping for their first dance. I know that I will be that super embarrassing mother that has to put her hand over her heart and fight back the tears as my precious girl transforms into a woman upon exiting the dressing room. I want to laugh at ugly dresses and try on every shoe until the store clerks kick us out. I am such a kid at heart, and I hope so much that, at least for a couple years, they will enjoy the time we spend together.
Two: I am terrified to take my daughters shopping for thier first dance! It seemed as if every dress in the store was made to double as lingerie. I cannot even believe that teenagers are able to wear a 3 inch heel and walk as if they were born with them on their feet. I watched other mother/daughter duos and realized that most likely the reason the girls were enjoying me so much, is that I am not their mother. Because daughters don't seem to understand why we as mothers cringe at the thought of my 15 year old having cleavage that is out there and exposed.
I don't kid myself into thinking that I will ever be "cool" enough to pick out my daughters' dresses, but I do hope they at least allow me the pleasure of that moment. The one that they will never let me forget as the most embarrassing moment of their lives. The moment that they step out of that dressing room, and I put my hand on my heart, I fight back the tears, and I sing "Now that your a woman...everything has changed!" (This is probably something only my family will understand)

Joy of Love: Day 3 "Then and Now"

In the world today we hear so much news about divorce. It's almost as if marriage is a fad, so easily discarded with yesterday's jeans. We watch celebrities get married in drunken stupors and then file for divorce the next day. We hear about those couples that have been together for 20 years and then suddenly get caught in scandal because they "just fell out of love". I myself am guilty of marrying for the wrong reasons, and found myself in an unbearable situation, that ended with divorce.
I am so proud to say that my parents will celebrate their 32nd anniversary this year! In a world where love is a "feel good" emotion, they have stood together truely for better or worse. When they met, they were just kids. 19 years old and hanging out at youth group, I'm sure that they never imagined just exactly what that spark between them would blossom into. Through all of these years, with God by their side, they have managed to be poor, be rich, be sad, be joyful, be angry, and be blessed all while being honest and faithful. If I have learned anything from their marriage, it's that love is NOT a "feel good" emotion. Love is hard. It's not something that just one day goes away. It's something you have to work for. It's something worth fighting for! Love is trying and at times even painful. But Love is rewarding and ever enduring. My parents are my inspiration for this photo assignment, but also my inspiration in life. After 32 years, they still look at each other with the same joy the had on their wedding day. Here they are...then and now.

The Joy of Love:Day 2 "How They Look"

My Cailynne is the definition of sweet and sour. Just this morning, she sat on the rocker with her baby all wrapped up in a soft blankie, kissing and hushing her to sleep. I was watching her with absolute joy as she so sweetly fed her a bottle and patted her back for the burp. Suddenly, her and baby jumped out of the rocker and disappeared into her bedroom. Minutes later Cailynne emerged wearing nothing but a tutu (which admittedly has seen better days), pearls, and a feather boa. Baby, who is now naked, dangles from Cailynne's purse by only a foot. She chucks baby onto the floor and demands a cookie from me IMMEDIATELY! All I can do is laugh. That's my girl!
This girl would wear a tutu at all times and I couldn't love it more. I mean, no matter how old we get, "dress up" never gets old, am I right? At 29 years of age, if I could get away with wearing a tiara and a feather boa to the grocery I'm pretty sure I would embrace it! So in order to save the battles for more important issues, I do not fight Cay Cay when she insists that proper church attire involves something fluffy. Or when we head to target dressed as a ballerina. After all, my theory is if she looks "sweet" then maybe the other shoppers won't be so quick to notice the "sour".
So when I received this homework assignment, I knew exactly how to begin...with a tutu of course! Again, forgive the technicality of the photos as I am still a beginner. It was super fun to have a photo shoot with my gals though and I forsee many more.

It's a work in progress

Ladies and Gentlemen! I would like to formally welcome you to my very first blog attempt ever! Please bear with me as I learn the ropes of the Blogger world.
For the past several months, I have had this incredible desire to write. Not really about anything in particular, just to get my thoughts on paper and out of my head. So I began keeping a journal, and in the process have found such great healing in allowing my pen to just flow. A few weeks ago, another overwhelming desire presented itself in the form of photography. My husband bought me this great camera and I realized I have so much to learn about it.
As I dove into the world of photography (which is a HUGE confusing world, I might add) I realized that this would be a great opportunity to combine both of these addictions. I enrolled in a program called "The Joy of Love" through willettedesigns.com. There is a challenge given every day that I'm hoping will help begin my journey. I will be blogging my "homework" here and writing about my inspirations daily.
The hope here, is that at the end of this year I will be able to look back and see some improvement on my skills, both in writing and in photo techniques. And also to open myself up to new inspirations and allow God to speak to me through my camera. I will not be using any of the programmed settings on my camera as that would sort of defeat the purpose. And I vow to do as little editing as possible. With that being said, let us begin!

Joy of Love Day 1: What They Do

The instructions today were to photograph a loved one doing what they do, paying special attention to the available lighting coming through the window or from a natural place. Cailynne's favorite thing of the moment is Peek-a-Boo, so that is what I captured. Now, as far as this lighting thing, I definitely do not have this down. Aperture, ISO, Shutter speed....are you speaking in Japenese? I read and re-read the manual on these things, but am still quite confused. So, I messed around and this was the best I got.

As I'm taking the pictures, I'm thinking about this game. Peek-a-Boo, I see you! Well, sometimes I think we try to play Peek-a-Boo with God. But the truth is, he can see behind the curtains. And even though we all do things that we wish we could hide from him, isn't it encouraging that even though he sees us in the darkest of hiding spots, he loves us just the same?

Luke 12:2 For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known.