Today I am Thankful for...

  With smells of Thanksgiving brewing in the air, I've decided to follow suit and write about one thing that I am thankful for every day until I can fill my belly to the brim with turkey and stuffing! I know, I'm eight days late to the party, but let's face it, I'm going to be late to my own funeral. So better late than never, right?
 
  I wanted to start today with my husband, or maybe my children, but God inspired me in another way so I will get to them later. Today I am thankful for the deep appreciation of nature that God has blessed me with. Sounds strange, I know. How can you be thankful that you are thankful for something? When you look up the word appreciate in the dictionary, the first definition is "to be thankful or grateful". And I am. I am thankful for the trees and the nice days, like today. But the second definition is what brought on today's subject. "To be fully conscious of; be aware of; detect". Fully conscious of...now that is exactly the words I would use to describe the feeling that stirs inside of me when I stand in God's creations!

  My mom used to tell me about a grandmother she had. Mom said they would be driving along, running whatever errands they had that day, when she would suddenly pull over and yell "Look at that tree! How gorgeous is that tree kids?!" I always think of that story when I drive down the highway and see the multicolored trees glowing in the sun. I want so badly to just pull my car over and stare at them! And I will say the same thing, "Look at that tree!" And my husband always thinks I'm nuts and appeases me by saying "Yes dear, it's beautiful". But it's more than beautiful to me. I don't know how to explain other than to say I am fully conscious of it's beauty. So conscious in fact, that it not only brightens my mood but it makes me feel so in touch with our Creator. He put that tree there. He gave it seasons. And He did it for our utter enjoyment! Don't you think He could've just made one type of never changing tree to provide us the oxygen we need to live? Or worse, He could've bypassed trees all together and just gave us boring old oxygen.

  I know that all of you appreciate a gorgeous day. Today is a great example. It's warm with a fresh breeze, the trees are radiant shades of orange and red. Blue skies stretch beyond the horizon with not one cloud to hide the warmth of the sun. But how many of you have ever sat and appreciated the rain? When it rains at the Ferguson house, you can usually find us in the living room, all the lights out, sitting in front of the window waiting for the crack of the lightening. As soon as the lightening strikes, Cailynne's face will beam as she tells us "here comes the thunder!" I love rainstorms! I am fully conscious of how amazingly ominous and glorious thunder is. Sure it's inconvenient when the electricity goes out, and my backyard is a swamp, but I'm always too overwhelmed with appreciation that God made rainstorms so powerful. He could've watered the Earth anyway He wanted, but He chose to give us rainstorms, and thunder.

  So as weird as it may seem, that is what I choose to be thankful for today. I am so blessed that God gave us His creations, and put a desire in my heart to see the love He has pouring out through a rainstorm, or even a snowstorm. I love the joy I get everytime I go to my backyard and see my tree. Whether it's blossoming pink flowers, shimmering in a thick coat of ice, or just providing shade for my children. I am thankful that I am fully conscious of all of its seasons. I am thankful that I truely appreciate all of God's works, even the ones that are not warm and fuzzy.

In Heaven, there will be a garden.

As a child I would lay awake, envisioning what Heaven would be like. In my Heaven, there were huge mansions lining the golden streets. Angels with great wings and halos sat on every corner and played a harp. I would picture God, sitting on his throne while all of us bowed on our knees, worshiping Him. And when he spoke, music played in the distance. There was always a magical sunset in the distance, displaying every color imaginable, and some not. I would cuddle my pet lion every night as I drifted off to sleep. And in the morning I would make my way to the great buffet table of endless Lima beans. (What? Apparently I like Lima beans....a lot!)
When I became a mother, my vision changed a bit. There were still mansions and harp playing angels. God still sat on His throne. But I had begun to appreciate the smaller things in life. I looked at my sweet baby and thought, Heaven just wouldn't be complete without precious sleeping babies everywhere. I decided I would have a sleeping baby to cuddle with me and my lion. I also had begun to realize God's love for His children. As I gazed at my sleeping baby boy, the thought of any harm or pain coming to him was completely unbearable. I worried about his future and planned the demise of all who would come against him. I couldn't wait to watch him grow (slowly) into a young man and begin his journey in life. Now I could see God, in his throne, but not just basking in worship. He was worried. He was in love with a child that was destined to hurt Him, yet He still loved with His whole heart. He still sacrificed and cried for His children. I saw His face changing as He watched His children grow...slowly.
Yesterday I poured my usual morning coffee. I went to my garden to sit and watch it grow. Picking and pruning my way through, I gathered my bounty in a pile. Each red tomato made me grin. Every delicious cucumber made me happy to my core. And a sudden and new vision came into my head. God is not just sitting on a throne in the sky. He's not just watching the lives of His children. I see him in his gardening shoes, coffee in hand, planting seeds in his awesome garden! With sweat and blood, He works for us. With fertilizer and a rake, He readies the ground for the seed to be planted. No matter how hard the work, or how hot the sun, I know my God is up there, planting His seeds with such joy and anticipation of that delicious fruit that they will soon bear. I can feel His disappointment when He sees a big ripe red tomato, but upon furthur inspection finds it rotten on the bottom, and has to throw it to the side.
I'm excited at this new idea of Heaven! I can't wait to get up at first morning light, grab my coffee, and meet my God in the garden to help him sow seeds, and cast out the weeds that are choking His plants. Heck, maybe we'll even grow some Lima beans.

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God." Colossians 1:10

What an artist my God is!!

Sitting on the plane filled with anticipation for my very first getaway vacation, I could barely contain my legs from bouncing and twitching. It was such a dreary day I closed the window shade and turned on my book lamp. Trying to read when I was that excited was a hard as trying to contain a child in a stroller at the fair.
Putting the book down, I opened my shade. There were no rain filled dark clouds. We had cleared the ominous skies that I had seen just moments ago, hovering over the airport. My heart was filled with peace as I gazed into the bright white clouds that looked like giant puffs of love. Now, anyone that knows me, knows that I have this incredible obsession with the sky. I can't explain it, but when I look into a sunset or see a cloud that overwhelms me, I can't look away. I feel suddenly that God put that there just for me, to show me how great He is. But this feeling was different.
It was as if I was looking directly into God's heart. I started imagining God, sitting in Heaven staring at this great canvas. When an artist sits before his canvas with his tools in his hand, his inspiration comes from inside. He may have an idea that stemmed from something he saw, but his interpretation of that idea is what comes bursting from his heart, onto that canvas, almost as if he could no longer keep it to himself. He must share this emotion by way of painting, or sculpting, or whatever his craft may be.
Now I'm just picturing God in Heaven, bursting with Love for us. I can see him in his painters smock painting happy little trees, right over here. Making smoosh sounds with each brush stroke as he decides which way the water should flow, and setting clouds free. Yes, apparently in my vision God talks like Bob Ross.
But what a great thought! How awesome is our God that this Earth is what came pouring out of His heart as he created! It started with an ocean that bursted out of his love and went on forever. You stand on the shore and see no end. Then it His glory bursted into the skies. Magnificent and ever watching, I have always said that if you listen closely, you can hear music in the sunset. Then a rainbow of flowers and trees, all displaying the purest of beauty and perfect smells. The great mountain came rolling out and stood to protect us and promised to give shelter from our enemies. What a heart has our God!
So next time you stand along the shores of that vast ocean, when you linger in the valley of that great mountain, and when you fly above the beauty of those awesome clouds, remember that they are not an accident. They are not a coincidence. Nor are they the boastings of a God that says "look what I can do." They are his heart. It is what is bursting inside of Him. Stop and revel in his magnificence and wonder. And understand how great an artist my God is.

Joy of Love: Day 18 "Staying In"

I will admit that my opinion of little girls has always been along the same line as Miss Hannigan's. When I pictured my family, I always pictured a house full of rough and tough little boys with wild hair and mud on their face. I was scared of girls for multiple reasons, first being that I myself was one so I know fully what they are capable of! When God blessed me with my first girl, I thought okay. I knew this was coming. My mom always prayed that He would give me a child that was just like me. (I'd like to go ahead and take this time to say  something to my mother. I'm sorry mom. Would you please take back that prayer now? No point in both of us suffering, right?) Then when we were told that another precious girl was on the way, I almost fainted. Crap. Now it's double time!
As my girls have grown, I have totally changed my opinions. Granted, give it about 13 years and I'm sure I'll be right back in line with Miss H. But I have so much fun with these angels. Just dressing them up in frillies and bows is the height of a long day. I can't tell you how excited I was when I realized I was going to get to play with Barbies again. As much as I love the days we get to go outside and get dirty, I love the snow days that keep us inside having tea parties and "folding" laundry together.
Thank you Lord for showing me this side of the girls first. Now when they are 13-25 and I am wandering around the house cross-eyed and talking to myself, I can look back on these times and remember that they are precious. They are precious. They are PRECIOUS!

Joy of Love: Day 17 "Going out"

I love this day. It's the first day after such a long, cold winter that the kids can finally go out and play with no coats, no gloves, even no shoes. It's the day that makes you forget that there is still plenty of cold days left to come. It's the day that when you crawl into bed underneath the open window to take a family nap, you never want to fall asleep for fear you may miss just one wisp of that fresh air whistling through the screen. It's a beautiful day!
I had such a blast watching the kids explore the backyard today. I chased them and pushed them all around. We drew with chalk and blew bubbles until they at last discovered the giant mud puddle. Boy is great to watch kids play in a mud puddle! I grabbed my camera and as I was snapping pictures of their mischievous faces, I had a moment.
It's so easy as a stay at home mother to turn parenting into a "job". You get caught in a routine and before you know it, the day is gone. You can't remember if you told your children you loved them enough times, or read them enough books, or even gave them enough kisses. It all becomes about a schedule and did the dishes get done? How much laundry is left for the next day? How much wine is left for the after bedtime bath? Is the alarm set for the morning?
Then God stops you. He gives you a day. A day that suddenly the laundry and dishes can wait. A day that you actually consider taking a nap in the first place. He gives you this day. As I captured each grin, God was telling me "Take this day. There will be plenty of time for work. This is the time for them." Being a parent is a job, no doubt. But there are times that it doesn't have to be work. There are days that you need to step back, and remember to have fun with your kids, not just play with them. Laugh with them. Enjoy them. Because the laundry isn't going anywhere without you. Just stop, and love this day!

Joy of Love: Day 16 "Their Kiss"

When you think of a kiss, what comes to your mind first? The end of a movie? Or maybe the beginning of a marriage? There are ultimately hundreds of feelings associated with even the smallest of smooches. It is, in my opinion, one of the most powerful tools God has given us to communicate with one another. Used for good as well as evil, a kiss can change the entire course of your day, or even your life.
The very first thing I think of in a kiss is the incredible healing power. Just one tiny little kiss can heal anything from the most unfortunate of boo-boos to the most broken of hearts. I can think of many circumstances where I was just down and out, where I just wanted to crawl back in bed and try again tomorrow. My husband noticed that I was not myself, and swooped me into his arms and gave me that special kiss. Suddenly, I can see a brighter day. I especially love when that healing comes innocently. When my child, who has no idea that her mommy has trouble in her heart, gives me that kiss that comes from her whole body. That's when you realize that in all that you've done wrong as a parent, you must've done something right!
A kiss is so powerful that even in its absence, it can affect your mood. Of course, every mother knows that moment when your child is "too cool for school" and refuses to kiss you goodbye in front of their friends. Why don't they just take out a knife and stab you straight in your heart, am I right? The lack of affection by way of kiss from someone you love can hurt you even subconsciously. I've noticed times where I am just irritated with my husband for no logical reason. Once I realize that we haven't had one good kiss since he got home, I can put two and two together and easily remedy that situation. Or how about that overwhelming first kiss, as it hangs in the air of a date just waiting to be given, or received. The anticipation fuels the butterflies in your tummy to flutter and dive as you just think of what it will be like.
Of course there is always a dark side to every power. A kiss can betray us. One of the most famous betrayals came with a kiss of death on the Jesus's cheek. An unloyal kiss can rot a holy union, and destroy families. A forced kiss can unleash a beast inside one, and at the same time take away another's self worth. It's sad how the devil can take such a precious gift from God, and turn it onto a tool of destruction.
Always remember to cherish your kisses. Keep them close to your heart. When you see your loved one hurting, kiss them all better. Take full advantage of your ability to smooch up all of your children, because that dreaded day will come and then you will have to wait until they get married to do it again! Keep your kisses pure, don't let the devil take this gift from you. God has given his children so many wonderful tools to help us grow in our relationships. The kiss is a magical one!

Joy of Love: Day 15 "It's just me!"

It's hard to do a self portrait. First there is all of the technical stuff, such as balancing the camera on a mound of paint cans since you don't have a tripod, and focusing on a teddy bear and then chucking said bear to the side in the short five seconds you have before the continuous shooting begins. Next there is that awkward moment where you realize the middle school bus just drove by and gawked at you as you threw out your best "Posh Face". Lastly, you have to try your hardest not to be overly judgemental as you look through the camera's eye at the person everyone else sees when you enter a room.
After several different settings and backrounds, I felt as if I'd gotten as good as I was going to get. I had done all of the senior picture poses that I could think of. But shouldn't my self portrait have some sort of resemblance to my personality? Once upon a time, I would've loved a good shot of me playing peek-a-boo behind a tree. No longer am I that person! I am the kind of person that salsas down the aisle of the Dollar Store. I am the kind of person that not only wears a mullet in my friends basement, but owns that look on the streets as well. I sing along to every song that I hear, even if I don't know the words. So, after multiple crowds had gathered in their lawn chairs to laugh at my shenanigans, I got the perfect shot. The one that just screams Erin Ferguson.

Joy of Love: Day 14 "Wedding Band"

It was my very favorite Christmas. Mike's employer at the time was behind on his pay. We had waited for this check for weeks so begin our shopping, and finally here it was...two days before Christmas! I was so excited to get off work on that Christmas Eve. Mike picked me up and we quickly learned that we were too late for shopping. Even Walmart was already closed! Feeling defeated, we thought to try KMart before calling it quits. We pulled into an overcrowded parking lot and saw that sign still lit up. Christmas was saved!
Almost running, we cheered our way into the store. I had my list and my shopping boots on. Mike had an arsenal of coffee and gum. And we had 3 hours until closing time. Whew! Let the fun begin. We had the most fun we've ever had on a shopping trip together. Laughing until we cried, arguing over gifts and prices, and breathing a huge sigh as each name was checked off the list. As it came to an end we realized there was no money left for each other. No big deal we agreed. Although, Mike did not know that I had sneakily added a cordless drill into the cart with his name on it. I thought it was going to be so much fun to surprise him!
We got "the phone call" at 5 am. My baby sister wanting to know when we coming over to watch them open presents. After a long night of wrapping and sorting, we drug our bodies out of bed and woke up Cody. As Mike was loading the gifts into the car, I grabbed his drill and put it strategically in his way. He sat down on the floor and opened it up. I was so excited I almost ripped the paper for him! I sat down next to him and chattered on about how sly I am and that I just couldn't help myself. When I suddenly realized he had a small box in his hand. Right there, sitting on our floor together, he proposed with the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. I was so surprised! Mostly because I had quit smoking two weeks earlier and was questioning whether or not he would even endure another week with me, let alone the rest of his life.
Well, obviously I said yes and here we are today. I could not imagine how my life would have turned out without this incredible man. I love him to no end and thank God every day for putting him in my path when I least expected it.

Joy of Love: Day 13 "Their Routine"

I am incredibly frustrated with these pictures! They did not come out at all as I had hoped. Somehow it seems as if my photography skills are getting worse instead of better. Oi vey! I guess that's what learning is all about though, right?
So Cailynne's favorite part of every day is no doubt her bathtime. Just about every time I change a diaper I have to wrestle her down to the ground while she yells "SHOWER! PWEEEASE!!" My little water baby would take 3 baths a day. I adore watching her in there, playing and laughing at her toys. Not to mention that it gives me a small window of peace. Just knowing that she is not at this moment climbing the baby gate to the stairs or sitting on top of her sister is quite relaxing!
So I was trying to capture her fun, but neither she nor the lighting was cooperating.

Joy of Love: Day 12 "Their Eyes"

The eyes are the window to the soul. Have you ever noticed that even if your best friend is smiling, you can usually tell that something is wrong? Our eyes give us a way! I think it is especially true with children because they wear their emotions on their sleeve as it is. I love when my children are happy and you can just see that joy radiating through their eyes. So for this project I thought it would be fun to share some of the looks I get around the house daily.

"Mom I love you enough to do what you tell me, but inside I am actually quite annoyed."

"You're my best friend"

"I will never understand why you put me through things like this."

"Cupcake...you complete me." 

"I love the noises you made when you put this hat on my head!"

"Now I'm starting to get a little irritated with your loud mouth."

"SEND IN THE GUARDS!!!" 



Joy of Love: Day 11 "Their Dreams"

Every married couple knows what it means to have a pet peave. No matter how much you love your spouse, there is undoubtedly things about them that drive you insane. My marriage is no different. Mike cannot walk into the room without commenting on my choice to watch Food Network for the fourth night in a row or the fact that I have washed every bit of laundry, and here it sits with me on the couch begging to be put away. I cannot stand the fact that as soon as he walks through the door, he ditches his dirty boots right in the middle of the doorway. And don't even get me started on the status of my bathroom sink after he shaves!
But truely, for me the pet peaves are bittersweet. As much as I complain as I wipe up a pile of beard hairs, I know that these things symbolize the fact that Daddy is home. And I love them for that. I can even go so far as to say I miss them when he's gone.
When I asked him today what his dreams in life were, his answer was so unexpectedly simple. I was thinking of places I'd like to go, and people I'd like to see. Maybe there is a lottery win in our future! He, without so much as a moments thought, said "I dream of a job that will keep me home". Sometimes I get so caught up in how hard my life is without him here to help me, I forget how hard it is for him to be out there on the road without us. I couldn't dream a better dream. To know that every night when I roll over, I will find more than an empty pillow. So right now I want to pray for my husband and his future. And I would appreciate if you joined me.
Father God I pray for my husband's dreams. He is an amazing man and an amazing father. He works so hard to give us the best life he can provide at this time. We thank you so much that he has the ability to work, and for the steady job that you have provided him. Lord he wants to be at home with his family, and we want him here. I pray that you would open up a road that would bring him closer and closer to that dream. I believe that your will is for him to be able to be here for his children as they grow older, and not to miss out on their childhood. Lord your will is our guide, and where you lead us, we will go. Above all we want to be in your plan for our future. Amen.

Joy of Love: Day 10 "Where They Are Comfortable"

It was a matter of seconds that my head was turned. During which time Cailynne managed to dump out the dog's water, empty every pot out of the cupboard, and fill them with dog food. "Cailynne! That is a no no!" Laughing maniacally, she runs out of the kitchen and straight to the toilet, at which time I notice she is carrying my cell phone. Tripping over 2 baby dolls and a potty chair in a desperate attempt to save the phone from the drowning it was about to receive, I seriously considered introducing my daughter to the swirly!
I truely believe naptime is more for the mother than the child. Sure, we want to make sure our kids are getting their much needed rest. But our sanity needs the rest as well! I love little Cailynne's sense of adventure. More often than not she has me rolling with laughter at her daily shenanigans and stubborn attitudes. But I cannot hide the smile on my face when naptime comes around either.
For one thing, Cailynne is so excited to get in her crib. She loves it! She has all of her loveys to snuggle with and her favorite blanket. She smiles, kisses everybody goodnight, and waves goodbye as I lay her on her pillow. I don't really even know how this happened. I always say she must be a long sleeper like her Grammy.
The other reason I love naptime so much is that I know when she wakes up, I'm going to get a guaranteed 15 minutes of snuggle time in the rocking chair. I treasure each and every one of those 15 minutes. She kisses me a million times and hugs me with her whole body. It's heaven! And just when God has reminded me how very precious being a mother can be, we hit 16 minutes. And then we're off...right back where we left off....the toilet.

I had super crappy lighting to work with so I had to use my flash.

Joy of Love: Day 9 "Their Passion"

My husband is an incredible artist. In almost every spare moment he gets I can always find him sitting at the table, drawing random things. Admittedly, I am a tad bit jealous. I do not have one artistic bone in my body! Now I can copy like nobody's business. But to just sit and picture something in my head, and then draw it? Not a chance. He can draw, paint, and even tattoo.
I would say his heart is in the tattoo business more than the others. He will spend hours watching videos on the internet that help him to learn more about his craft. I absolutely love to watch him tattoo people and see his portfolio grow with each one. Hopefully someday he will be able to do this for more than just a hobby.
I will tell you right now that my heart was just not in it this time around. It's been just a crazy day! You know, one of those days where you suddenly realize your child is running around with a nail in her ear and your sister is wearing a potty seat for a top hat. You've all had those days right? No? Well I had it in my mind to capture him actually doing a tattoo and that was not an option, so next time he does one I'm going to re-do this assignment.

Joy of Love: Day 8 "What They Have Done"

My son, Cody, is now 7 years old and he is the apple of my eye. He looks just like me, he acts just like me, he even has a touch of OCD, just like me. He has a phenominal sense of humor and keeps all of on our toes, but is still a bit reserved around new people. He has such a tender heart and is a fabulous big brother. I am so proud of him!
For reasons that I will someday later explain, Cody has never met his biological father. And he didn't have a healthy father figure for the beginning of his life. Cody came to me when I was not living the life that God had planned out for me. It was always so hard to explain to him why I made the choices that I did, and there is still so much to explain one day.  He changed my life, but I was never able to give him what he needed from a man. I always worried how that would affect him and who he would become.
When my husband, Mike, came into the picture, Cody was very concerned about this new man in our life. He gave him a hard time, and challenged his authority. But Mike remained patient with him. He told Cody he loved both of us more than anything and would never leave. When we got married he asked Cody to be his best man. One day Mike just started asking a bunch of questions about Cody's paternity. And then told me he wanted to adopt him and give him the same last name as the rest of the family. My heart melted!
He asked Cody how he felt about it, and of course got a big hug of approval. And so began the rest of his life! I am so in love with this man, who would do this for my child. And not out of obligation or as a favor to me. It was in his heart. And because of that, my Codeman has grown miles with his Dad. And I am confidant that Mike will help mold him into the man that God wants him to be.
I would have loved to take a picture of them together, but Mike is out of town. So here's some of the many faces of Cody :)

Joy of Love: Day 7 "Generations"

I am so blessed to be so close to most of my family. We get to have great big holidays and celebrations. It's fabulous. I especially love that my kids get to have a bond with their great grandma! My Grandma Janet is such an amazing woman of God. We share a lot of things in common. We both love the art of cooking and baking. She has clued me in on so many ideas in the kitchen. She has always been there to lend an ear whenever I needed someone to listen, and offer advice. I'm so proud to know her, and love her. Here she is with Evie.

Joy of Love: Day 6 "Who They Love"

My baby sister Leah sleeps, eats, dreams, lives and breathes Evangeline. She loves her so much, there are times that she cries for her. It is to die for! When she comes to my house, she will sit and hold her on her lap and sing softly. She is invoved in every aspect of Evie's day. If there's a diaper changing going on, she's right there, holding the wipes for me. If Evie cries, she runs to her side and wraps her up in a blankie and gives her a baby to "snuggle". I have never seen a child so tender and in love with a baby!
It's amazing to me. I think about what little sweet Leah endured in her first weeks. Unimaginable abuse by the very people who should be protecting her. She was beaten and neglected, to a point that the doctors were sure she could never recover. But recover she did. And not only physically, but emotionally as well. And here she is, dying to comfort and swaddle this baby. How precious that God can take something so horrible, and turn it into something so great.

Joy of Love: Day 5 "What You Love to Hate"

My husband works a job that requires him to travel. His normal schedule involves packing a bag and heading out on Monday and returning on Friday. To be honest, after all of these years, I have never gotten used to Mondays. Every time he leaves, a tiny bit of depression sets in on my mood. And every Friday is a big day for me. The anticipation of his return makes me wake up early and smiling. I schedule my whole day around his arrival, making sure I am home when he walks through the door. And then I hear the truck pull up, and he opens the door. With arms open we run to each other, almost laughing with joy. We meet and he reaches down and scoops up....the dog!
Okay, okay. I may have exaggerated that scenario just a bit. He always does hug me first. But I will admit that I am a little jealous of the affection that is poured into his baby puppy. She's an Olde English Bulldog pup, the dog of his dreams. With a face that ugly, you have to think she's cute. So when I read this homework I knew exactly what I "loved to hate" about my husband. Admittedly, I have fallen for her too.

Joy of Love: Day 4 "What They Wear"

I had the absolute pleasure of taking my cousing shopping for the upcoming winter dance this evening. We giggled our way through a million dresses until we found just the right one for each girl. We turned the aisle into our very own runway to allow them to strut their stuff in heels that deserve more than just a second glance. And we finished by modeling every piece of jewelry until we fell in love with the ring that made the outfit. I learned two lessons throughout this journey.
One: I am so excited to take my daughters shopping for their first dance. I know that I will be that super embarrassing mother that has to put her hand over her heart and fight back the tears as my precious girl transforms into a woman upon exiting the dressing room. I want to laugh at ugly dresses and try on every shoe until the store clerks kick us out. I am such a kid at heart, and I hope so much that, at least for a couple years, they will enjoy the time we spend together.
Two: I am terrified to take my daughters shopping for thier first dance! It seemed as if every dress in the store was made to double as lingerie. I cannot even believe that teenagers are able to wear a 3 inch heel and walk as if they were born with them on their feet. I watched other mother/daughter duos and realized that most likely the reason the girls were enjoying me so much, is that I am not their mother. Because daughters don't seem to understand why we as mothers cringe at the thought of my 15 year old having cleavage that is out there and exposed.
I don't kid myself into thinking that I will ever be "cool" enough to pick out my daughters' dresses, but I do hope they at least allow me the pleasure of that moment. The one that they will never let me forget as the most embarrassing moment of their lives. The moment that they step out of that dressing room, and I put my hand on my heart, I fight back the tears, and I sing "Now that your a woman...everything has changed!" (This is probably something only my family will understand)